World's Ugliest Coat!
So this weekend I made the trek to Hoboken, New Jersey for their St. Patrick's Day celebration. I know it's two weeks before actual St. Patrick's Day, but for some reason, New Jersey likes to have St. Paddy's Day 2 weeks early. I don't know why. Don't ask me. Anyway, it was pretty awesome, cause my friend had multiple kegs, lots of drunk people, and bagpipers in her living room:
Yeah. Sweet.
However, Saturday was also totally incredible because I witnessed, completely out of the blue, The World's Ugliest Coat.
Check that OUT! Is that not THE most hideous thing you have EVER seen?? I was walking around in a sea of drunk ex-frat boys wearing various shades of green, and then it was RIGHT THERE, blinding me with its nylon lupinity. I burst out laughing and chased it down the street with my camera. It was made out of like, fuzzy blanket. It gave me mild vertigo when I looked at it head-on. The icing on the cake was that the guy was wearing some sort of branch-patterned camo Hammer Pants (which you can see if you focus on the bottom half of the picture).
Now, I understand that some of you might think that I must have stumbled across a stray hipster in Hoboken who was wearing the coat to be ironic, because no one in their right mind would leave the house wearing a garment that offensive. However, there are three very solid reasons why this is not the case.
1.) Any hipster who takes himself seriously enough to wear that fashion atrocity would NEVER be caught dead in Hoboken unless Ted Leo was playing at Maxwell's, and even then they'd wait till he played somewhere in Manhattan or Brooklyn.
2.) There are very few bulky 40+ year old hipsters with Hulk Hogan hair milling around, no less in Hoboken.
3.) His friends looked like they could be in Hell's Angels. Real hipsters + Hell's Angels = Real dead hipsters
No, my friends, this man was wearing this coat as a conscious fashion choice. Which is why it's the ugliest coat ever. Because when this man wears this coat, he means it.
I think we should just take a moment and take a closer look.
It really just takes the breath away, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah. Sweet.
However, Saturday was also totally incredible because I witnessed, completely out of the blue, The World's Ugliest Coat.
Check that OUT! Is that not THE most hideous thing you have EVER seen?? I was walking around in a sea of drunk ex-frat boys wearing various shades of green, and then it was RIGHT THERE, blinding me with its nylon lupinity. I burst out laughing and chased it down the street with my camera. It was made out of like, fuzzy blanket. It gave me mild vertigo when I looked at it head-on. The icing on the cake was that the guy was wearing some sort of branch-patterned camo Hammer Pants (which you can see if you focus on the bottom half of the picture).
Now, I understand that some of you might think that I must have stumbled across a stray hipster in Hoboken who was wearing the coat to be ironic, because no one in their right mind would leave the house wearing a garment that offensive. However, there are three very solid reasons why this is not the case.
1.) Any hipster who takes himself seriously enough to wear that fashion atrocity would NEVER be caught dead in Hoboken unless Ted Leo was playing at Maxwell's, and even then they'd wait till he played somewhere in Manhattan or Brooklyn.
2.) There are very few bulky 40+ year old hipsters with Hulk Hogan hair milling around, no less in Hoboken.
3.) His friends looked like they could be in Hell's Angels. Real hipsters + Hell's Angels = Real dead hipsters
No, my friends, this man was wearing this coat as a conscious fashion choice. Which is why it's the ugliest coat ever. Because when this man wears this coat, he means it.
I think we should just take a moment and take a closer look.
It really just takes the breath away, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Labels: Logged Hours' Greatest Hits (a.k.a. Posts that were linked to larger blogs than mine)
posted by Kate
31 Comments:
Oh my, that's horrid.
And yet, it may have made Charlize Theron's dress last night almost acceptable. If she had worn the actual wolf, it might have helped her hair too.
Hey,
I made the trek out to Hoboken for a day of Paddy-themed drunkening too. Cannot remember if I saw this guy or not. Cannot remember much of anything actually.
My favorite is the way the birch trees make a striped pattern on the sleeves....
I still think he should show up this week in misshapes.
like something you'd see at misshapes, but homeboy probably has better taste in music. halford rulz!
Oh, he actually became THAT guy in DON'T BE THAT GUY.
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reminds me of...
http://www.birkoph.com/Wolf_tshirt.htm
This is one of the classic Coats of our times and clearly it is not getting the praise it deserves.
Please take a minute to look at what you are wearing, and ask yourself "Have I have outdone this man?"
You have not.
After offering him $5 to sniff his shoe, I'd piss on his jacket for free. Then I'd promptly have it dry cleaned and WEAR THAT MOFO OUT TONIGHT! AAwwwwrrrrrraaoooo. For serious yo.
Bruce Jenner has no fashion sense.
I saw this jacket somewhere..I think I saw it on a woman at fashion week INSIDE the tents..it was flowing its wolf like fleecy-ness and it taunted the eyes of fellow onlookers with looks of shock..eep!
I don't know what's worse - that jacket or the fucking yuppies of Hoboken!
i actually live in australia now, but am from hoboken. what a guido, but in defense he's most likely from bayonne or (shudder) elizabeth. even hobokenites would have run him out of town. also, reason st patricks day parade is very weirdly 2 weeks early is they use the some of same bands/pipers as real parade in nyc. in related horror, hoboken used to have a 5k run at 9am on fake st paddy's day, guidos would arrive w cases at 8am to watch and be throwing up on stoops by 9:30am. kind of ruined the early morning whole bagel run.
Can't you see? This is part of why Hoboken is so fucking awesome.
with you, h fink. did you know 27 people actually ran for mayor one year? russo won, he'd been indicted 4 times previously ... few more during office. heehee. i loved the place -
(anonymous from au)
This coat was the star of the UK's verion of The Apprentice. Some poor sap had to try and sell it on a shopping channel. They were laughing so much that they were in tears - but if I remember rightly they managed to get rid of quite a few.
Didn't Santino Rice design that? To match his tiger t-shirt?
I think that's my brother.
well, the Iditarod dog sled race did start in Alaska on Saturday. Perhaps the coat was his nod to Balto amongst all the drunks... that's deep, man
wow. i grew up in a small town, so i've seen some pretty hideous gear, but that just takes the cake.
My mom's friend has this coat,ok well not this exact coat but anything involving wolves in a direct similarity, no? Is it any better because she's a middle aged woman?
Sorry, Legally Bored. I think that being a middle aged woman almost makes it worse. Cause, you know, I'm sort of scared of a big dude who wears a wolf coat. He probably thinks he's displaying his inner animal on his outer self. Middle aged women, however, do not frighten me unless they're Towanda The Avenger sorts. (I don't think Towanda would wear this coat.)
I know that coat! I know that guy (not personally)! He must live in Hoboken, as I saw him wearing it at a street fair once. I believe Peter Noonan was performing.
I can only hope that there's a unicorn on the front, or maybe Aslan?
Sacre Bleu! The coat with the pants, that's even worse.
Reminds me very much of a Napoleon Dynamite t-shirt. Thundering stallions, unicorns...the lone, pensive wolf. Actually, it also reminds me of one of those really cheap, scratchy blankets you can buy in Tijuana that several grandmothers I know use to cover the sofas in their basement family-rooms.
Nylon? For reals?
Bless you, Kate,(and the commenters!!) for spelling it "Paddy". I am bracing for the visual assault of seeing "St Patty's Day" (aarrrgghhh!!!). No irony here; I really mean "bless you".
West Coast sighting -- three seats down from me at a San Jose Sharks game on March 11th, worn by a woman about the same age as this man.
Can there be more?? Zoiks!
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